Patterns

     I have not updated this blog in a month. My intention was to write two to three times a week in order to keep it active and for anyone who might check it. My eldest daughter had a new addition to her family and I went to help. I was there almost 3 weeks and caught the flu which has given me an additional week out of commission. This past month has given me a cause to reflect on how patterns repeat themselves and also how my life seems to get better and better.

     My mother was born in the same city that her mother and father chose because of their religion. She lived there all her life and is still there as far as I know. When my mother was out of high school her parents agreed to give her one year of college. After that one year she married my father. A year after that she disregarded my fathers wish to delay having a family and got pregnant with me. This meant he was not able to finish law school and pursue the career he desired. Soon after my birth followed  two more children. My brothers and I were spaced just about as close as we could be. We grew up together and were as close as we could be under the circumstances.
     I was always taught that my ancestors back and back were all a members of a Satanic order. So I always believed that my mom was born into this trouble as well as my dad. His grandparents had migrated to the place I was born for religious purposes also.  I never knew if it was truly because of the legitimate christian religion or whether it was more driven by the devotion to the occult. I was also like my mother; born to a mother with little education and raised in a satanic cult.
     When I graduated from high school I was also given a year of education my parents paid for. A year after college I was married . A year after that I gave birth to my first child also a girl. When I got pregnant it was not a decision I made against my husband. Together we prayed and decided it best to not use birth control at that time. We felt that it was time to begin a family against some strong logic. My husband also had one year of college behind him when he began working to support a family that grew as fast as the one I came from. Within a few short years we had three children under the age of three in diapers.
     One  of the differences between my mother and me was that I had married outside of the cult. There was hope from the cult members to draw my family in and still have influence on my children. I had a great deal of fear that my decision to marry outside of the bounds of the cult would bring danger to me and my family. When I gave birth to my first baby and she was safely born I was overcome with joy and amazement. I was afraid to love and to bond with her, but was reassured by God that she would not be taken from me and I was free to love her all I wanted. We survived three treacherous years in the city I was born and raised in. Our miraculous exodus to a far away place, brought healing and safety. So although my three eldest children were born into the misery of a satanic cult they only suffered through infancy with the direct contact. They were not raised in it.
    We sent my oldest daughter away to college. After completing a year she met and married an ambitious young man who finished his education. Their circumstances are much improved for the three children that they brought into this world close together. Their children our grand babies are free of any cult connection or influence. Having three babies close together is not easy for anyone. Within our family it has been a pattern that has improved. I will share the comparisons of the increase of light and love down the generations of our family tree in the next entry.